Tuesday, February 7, 2017

The Struggles of Being of Drinking Age

   I haven't written a post in a while so I wanted to catch up with everyone. Everything is going great except for one problem. My wife turned 21 and since then we have been doing a little travelling and going to bars. Unfortunately, looking as young as I do, I run into troubles getting in. Unfortunately, my ID is a temporary ID made of paper until my actual ID comes in the mail (I have had to have them resend it twice). Most bars we go to tell me that I can't come in because my ID could be fake. Come on now guys. This is ReDonkULous. Likewise, I have trouble buying alcohol because of my ID. I have been declined many times in front of a long line of customers. This is just embarressing. So in the mean time, my wife has to buy me drinks when we feel like partying a bit. The picture below is from the Anheuser Busch tour we took in St. Louis this past weekend. Unfortunately for me, I did not get to take advantage of the free 16oz beer.

We have also decided to stay at our current residence for a little while and renew our lease. We both really enjoy our location and my wife loves her job at her pediatric dental office. I still work at a hotel but I have been moved to night shift for the first half of the week and day shift the second half. While this can be hard on sleeping habits, I found that it is the perfect opportunity to start obtaining my real estate license! We have decided to put money back to pay for my pre-licensure courses so that I can start hopefully next month. We have also decided it is time to buy a couch. We have had a futon in our living room for the past 4 months since we moved here. At first we did not get a lot of guests so it wasn't an issue, but lately we have had friend's or family stay the night at least once a week. I have to admit though, the futon in the living room did come in handy when we had our New Years Bash. We do not condone drinking and driving. With that said, anyone who drinks at our apartment is welcome to stay the night. That night we had 5 people stay over at our house and had just enough room for the 7 of us. 

On a side note, I have taken my entrepreneurial to start making T-shirts again and I am going to try to focus on mainly making t-shirts that pertain to this blog's values - Being Married Young. 

Feel free to take a look and if you like something, buy it or leave a comment so I know I'm on the right track! Thanks everyone and I will have more posts to come soon!


Tuesday, September 27, 2016

What not to do in an arguement

Over the year and a half that we have been married, my wife and i have gotten in a lot of arguements. 
Honestly, I still don't know the right ways to handle an arguement. But I have learned a TON of things NOT to do in an arguement. If you follow these rules, you will be on your way to de-escalating the arguement.

1. Do NOT participate in name calling. No matter how angry you are, never call your spouse a name. Even if they call you names first, just let it go. You can not bring an arguement to an end by making her angrier.
2. Do not raise your voice. When you raise your voice, so will she. There is no reason for neighbors to have to hear what you are arguing about. She can hear you just fine at a normal volume. You can also hear her just fine at a normal volume.
3. Have a safe place to cool down. One thing I learned about women is that they can argue for hours straight. I simply can not do that. I end up getting so heated that I explode. If you need to cool down, go for a walk, or work on a hobby for a bit, but dont forget about the arguement. Just use the time to clear your head and think about the things you said to support your point of view, and things you said that you shouldn't have. That way when you go back in, you do not egg on the arguement.
4. Never say what you do not mean. I cannot emphasize this point enough. It is so easy to tell a tough truth out of anger, or to say something that you just simply do not mean in an arguement. Refrain from doing either of these two. If you do not mean it, do not say it. Simple as that. If it is a tough truth and you are just saying it to be mean, do not say it. There is a time and a place to talk about certain things. If it is not necessary to the arguement, there is no reason to bring up certain things.
5. There are no winners in an arguement. There is only the one who got their way, and the one who now has angry feelings towards the other. The sooner the arguement is put to an end, the sooner the two of you can talk it out.

Now like I said, this isn't a guide to winning an arguement. These are just things that you should refrain from doing which will make the situation worse. Remember at all times that the person who you are arguing with IS your spouse and you both love each other very much. 

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Trying to better yourself

This post doesn't only apply to young married couples, but really to anyone with a busy schedule. Our first year of being married, we really had to step up our game in our finances. We were hit with bills we didnt even knew existed. Trying to get our first apartment together, deposits for utilities, car maintenance, School. It was definitely something that caused arguements often. At the time, I was working 40 hours a week at a job I hated, taking 19 credit hours in school (mostly online classes), she was working part time at a job that treated her bad, and going to school full time as well. We got into the routine of going to work, doing school, worrying about bills, worrying about homework, will it always be like this?

 My mom gave me some advice that I will continue to use as long as I live. "Do not be afraid to spend money on fun stuff every now and then. If you spend all your time working and never do anything fun, you will be miserable." Now, this can be hard to do at times. When you are in school, you are always scared of falling behind by going out. When you are trying to save money to move into a little bigger apartment, you are scared that spending a little money will set you far behind in bills and your goals. Especially for married people, this advice is important. It helps you stay connected on a deeper level with your spouse and create good memories in a time of stress. You can still achieve your goals while occasionally having fun. Not only this, but if you are unhappy with a situation, always be on the lookout for opportunites that will make you happier, not just money. When we first got married we moved into a really tiny 500 sqft apartment paying $570 a month. With making around $9/hour we never thought we would get out of that apartment. Luckily a couple of months before our lease was up, my wife found a 2 bedroom town home for $35 cheaper than what we were paying and nearly twice the size. This settle change made us so much happier. Once my wife finished dental assistant school, she found a job as a dental assistant and instantly became happier.

 At the time, when you are dealing with bills, and school, and marriage, you start to think about your dreams and what you are letting go and how you are running out of time and I talked to my wife about it. She doesn't know what her real dreams are but I do. I have always wanted to be a nascar driver. Now that is a bit unrealistic, but I can race at local dirt tracks like my family used to. When we finally upgraded to a new car, She gave me permission to tear up my old car and turn it into a race car. This project relieves so much stress off my shoulders. When i am angry, sad, or just plain bored, I will go work on my racecar and it instantly makes me happier knowing that I am one step closer to doing something I love. So that is the second bit of advice from this post "Never stop achieving your dreams. If it something out of reach, start small, and learn to love every step of your progress."
We also found that we were not happy with the area we were living, so we began looking for new jobs in my hometown 2 hours away. After almost 2 months of searching, I got a job offer at a hotel as a front desk representative. This was a huge step in my carreer because I am in school for business and needed some type of clerical experience. My wife knew that this was important and packed up her whole life to move with me back to my hometown. A month later she found a job at a pediatric dentist and found out she loves working with the kids and has never been happier in a job. I am also extremely happy with my job, the pay is the same that I was making, but I come home in a better mood every day. So the last bit of advice I have for you guys today is "Don't be afraid to take risks in order to better yourself and achieve happiness."

This was a result of one of those "lets do something fun and new today" days. We Rode a camel. Still to this day, this is my wife's favorite picture of us.

Thanks for reading and hopefully you take something away from this post to help you with your life, because we all know "The Struggle is Real".

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Learning to live with a girl

Ok, this post doesn't just apply to young people. Learning to live with a girl is one of the hardest things to do. I know I am not the neatest person, but guys generally have less clutter. 

My wife is not a very organized person. Everywhere she goes, there is a trail of clothes makeup, and food containers. I know you all have seen posts on facebook or twitter that show a guys bathroom then show a girls bathroom. The guy's bathroom may have a toothbrush, razor, and gel on the sink. A bottle of shampoo, conditioner, and body soap in the bathtub. That is it.
A girl's bathroom is scary. I quite honestly fear for my life sometimes. I go in, there is makeup all over the counter, sometimes a piece or two has fallen into the sink. There is makeup on the floor. There is clothes on the floor from where she was in a hurry to change in the morning. In the bathtub, there are wayyyyy more products than anyone could ever need. soap, decorative soap, 4 bottles of shampoo and conditioner. A bottle of smelly good soap somebody bought us as a gift, a couple of razors, usually in the bottom of the tub. I always have to find the razors before I get in the tub. One time she bathed the dog in the bathtubs and had a metal dog fur comb thing. Well the next day I am in the shower and step on it and slice my foot open (I told you, I fear for my life). 

When we moved into our apartment, I had with me two bags of clothes. That was it. A few weeks later, my wife moved in with her 9 bags of clothes, 1 box of shoes, 1 box of makeup, and multiple decorations that mostly never made it to the walls. And so the clutter begins.

Luckily, the extent of the mess for the most part stays in the bedroom/bathroom. Now if you are a girl or live with a girl, then you may find that it is not as bad as this. However, Everyone knows the bathroom of a girl is more cluttered than a bathroom of a guy. This is something, as a guy, that we just have to learn to live with (maybe not the fear of stepping on a razor). As far as clothes and shoes go. Girls have more clothes and shoes than guys. Period. And You will ALWAYS hear that they have nothing to wear. Once again, this is something that no guy can change. We just have to learn to deal with it.


Monday, September 19, 2016

Storytime - Daily Life Struggles with being young.

I wanted to go ahead and make a few posts to get this blog started. So this post is basically just a couple of stories about the struggles my wife and I have gone through being related to our age or looks. We will start at the wedding. My age or looks did not affect the preparation for the wedding much (I just did what my wife said). However, my wife had a negative experience with Wedding Dress shopping because of her age. Her first day of wedding dress shopping, she went to David's bridal with her little sister to see what she could find. Upon entering the store, the associates noticed her but did not speak to her. When she asked if she could look at the dresses, they told her she could look but she could not take them off the rack and did not offer her any assistance because they thought she was just a high school girl hanging out just looking around. It wasn't until she put a down payment on a dress that the associates paid any attention to her. This may not seem like a big deal, but when you are planning the wedding of your dreams and trying to get prepared and no one takes you seriously, I could understand why she was frustrated.

The second big issue with the Wedding plans relating to ourage was the honeymoon. We had decided in advance that we wanted to spend a week on a beach in Florida. We picked out our favorite honeymoon spot and called our number one hotel choice. Only to find out, we were not allowed to stay there because we weren't 21. I would explain to them I was going to be on my honeymoon but this never made a difference. A little discouraged, we kept searching. Everytime we found a nice play to stay, my wife would have me call them to ask if we were allowed to, and the answer was always no. One hotel told me to bring someone with us over the age of 21 to check us in... Because we really wanted a family member to come on our honeymoon with us... -.-  It is bad when you are old enough to sacrifice your life in the military, get married, have a family, buy a car, But you can't rent a room because you are not "old enough". We became extremely discouraged and even began looking at other honeymoon destinations just to see if we could even go on a honeymoon. A couple of weeks went by and my wife found a vacation motel type place on the beach and had me call them. They said we could stay! It ended up being extremely nice on the inside, almost like a little house and even had a hammock. 

So in the end, the honeymoon worked out great. We went to Disney World, Spent time on the beach, went to universal studios, and ate WAY too much seafood.. But a lot of the problems we went through would not have been an issue if we were older.

Thanks for reading guys!

I am officially a Blogger!

Hey everybody. I have finally started my blog! To start, let me tell you about myself.
My name is Blake and I am creating this blog to kind of tell you guys what it is like to be married at a young age in a time where its normal for people to be in college until they are 26, but not to be married young. I am from Tennessee and I met my wife online while I was in college at University of Memphis ( she is from Arkansas). When we met, I was 19 and she was 18. 6 Months after meeting her, I proposed, and about 7 months later we got married at 20 and 19. To most people, we are insane. One of the most common questions we get is why would you get married so young?

The Answer is simple. We love each other, and you can appreciate someone more when you watch them change and grow up into a mature adult. We both are still working on our relationship as well as the struggles of becoming an adult. But it is great to have someone going through the same situation as yourself and knowing you aren't alone. When I met my wife, I was failing college, moving between friends and family member's houses, I had a couple of part time jobs here and there. I was too obsessed with my social life. On the contrary, my wife was an avid Netflix watcher. She has anxiety and had struggled with social events so home was her comfort place. She even had trouble ordering food at the drive thru because she felt awkward speaking into a box. It has now been roughly two and a half years since we met and a year and half(ish) since we got married and we have changed so much (We are about to turn 22 and 21).  She has now completed dental assisting school and is a dental assistant. I am in my last year of my associates degree for business and just recently started a job as a front desk representative at a hotel full time to gain clerical experience. We have switched roles completely socially. I now prefer to watch movies instead of going out, and she likes to socialize more than me now. Even though we have grown so much, we still look (litterally) 16 years old. 

Another common question we get is - You guys must have a kid? As if this is the only reason we should get married young. It is sad to see that in this period of time, it is more acceptable of people to have accidently baby when you are 16, than to get married at 20.

Anyways, this blog is to just kind of tell our story to people of all ages. Hopefully, some young couples will be able to relate. Maybe, some older people will know how different it is now a days. Or maybe, you will just think we are plain crazy. As long as I can give you a story that you will remember :)